1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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