I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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