everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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