I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
