I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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