i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
