State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
