sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
