if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
