i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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