I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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