Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
