he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
