Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize