I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
