If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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