We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
where are you?
Hypothermia
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
