first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize