Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
