I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
