I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
