You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize