Welp...herpes.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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