Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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