I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
