I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
