Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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