If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
