So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
