1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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