She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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