If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
