The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
