I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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