pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
