i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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