So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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