He had one of those small greek statue penises
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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