im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
