Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize