I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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