Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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