Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
