Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
