I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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