Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
