dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
