Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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