k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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