What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
