from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize