im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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