dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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