I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
