"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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