I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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