I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
