He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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