i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
