The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
