so that wasnt chicken after all
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
