Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
