You can't motorboat a personality
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
