I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
