I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
