I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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