Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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