you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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