it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
