If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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