I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
