he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize