i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it's great music for shaving your balls
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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