marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
