And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
